Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
