her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
