I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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