Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
