Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
