NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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