You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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