lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize