I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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