I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
