got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
