y did u give ur computer a hand job?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
