come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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