Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ugly people sure do ruin things
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
