so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
