I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
