glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
