Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
