Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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