It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
being pregnant is like rehab
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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