he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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