actually, I'm a sock model
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
