would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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