Ambien. No doubt about it.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
