i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize