If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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