Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
