I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
