If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
