she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
