I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
