It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
