No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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