did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
