This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
