Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
