he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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