Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
