hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
MIDGETS
????
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
