So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
