you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
