I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
