Whod you bang
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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