I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
