Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize