Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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