It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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