i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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