Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
