This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize