Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
