grandma shit on top of the toilet
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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