i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
