we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
