How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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