How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What a dumb baby whore.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
