my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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