I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize