He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
