Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
