Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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