You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
