Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
