Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
