Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
