I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
