It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
