this beer tastes like vomit already
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
