WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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