Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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