he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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